It's time to join Felix, already fast asleep in our comfy King size bed. Soon I shall slip into that state of bliss we call sleep, content with what I have accomplished on this uneventful but not unpleasant Wednesday -
Wednesday? Why, that means I'm supposed to have a new post up tomorrow. I faithfully promised my fans new posts on Monday and Thursday. It's already g.d. Thursday in the UK, where both of them live. Oh fer the love of Mike!
Power up, oh keeper of promises. Draw from the mighty imagination that has conjured up three entire erotica novels and countless, that is if you count on your fingers and toes, sexy short stories. Write something and throw in some pictures and go to bed. It can't be all that hard . . . can it?
Can - didn't I have an idea earlier in the week - something about a can - a can of soup - a can of chicken soup? I did. I do. I remember now!
My Correspondence with the webmaster for Chicken Soup for the Soul
Subject: Submissions: Hello Chicken Soup. Your Submission Guidelines neglect to indicate the amount you pay for the stories you include in your books. Please tell me: What do you pay? Warmest Regards, Madeline Moore
The reply:RE:Submissions Dear Madeline: Thank you for your inquiry. If your story is selected for publication in one of our Chicken Soup for the Soul books then you will receive a one-time fee of $200 and ten free copies of the book your story appears in (worth more than $100) for the rights to print your story. This information is included on our website. We look forward to getting some submissions from you. Sincerely, Chicken Soup for the Soul
Hmmm. I go to Amazon and try to count the number of Chicken Soup books. I quit counting at two hundred. I get irritable. My reply:
I am afraid that a payment of two hundred dollars for inclusion in a franchise that is making millions for its editors would cause this writer's soul great pain.
I start thinking about this issue. After all, what does Reader's Digest pay its contributors? Well, while it still pays Americans real dollars, Canadians contributors are now paid with a subscription to the magazine.
I start checking out the authors with contributions in Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul. Some are: Ernest J. Gaines, Terry McMillan, Sue Grafton, Steve Allen, George Plimpton, and Ray Bradbury. I found Gloria Steinham's name as a contributor to another of the Chicken Soup books, I don't remember which one, but that was when I stopped searching authors and sent this reply to the webmaster:
On Second Thought: Me again. Having visited Amazon and admired the many, many pages of Chicken Soup anthologies, as well as noticing that Gloria Steinham has contributed to one of them, I have changed my mind. Perhaps what I should do, instead of whining at you, is purchase Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul. It isn't easy being a writer but it's harder to be a bitter writer than a hopeful one. I must try to stay on the hopeful side. In case I haven't made myself clear, I apologise for my response to your polite reply to my initial inquiry.
The final reply from the webmaster:
Hi Madeline Many people are interested in being included in one of our Chicken Soup for the Soul books. We get more than a few thousand story and poem submissions for each book title we publish. We do hope that, after reconsidering, you will submit your work to us. Chicken Soup for the Soul
So there you go. Of course now I'm trying to think up my own franchise. Something like Borscht for Bitter Bastards or Minestrone for the Miserable or Stone Soup for the Stoner or Lentil Soup for Losers but mostly, I'm just thinking I did the right thing. Do you?
Nightie night. Mad.